--girl look at that body

First, let's knock this outta the way. I love nerdy stuff, so when I stumbled on this comic, I thought it was hilarious. But xkcd always has funny comics.

Anyways, I feel semi-bad but not really for not updating for 10 whole days, because really, who reads these? Close to no one. And who would want to? I don't say anything interesting. But anyhoo, I've been swamped by stress due to my stupid choices in academia, which makes me wish I was stupid and didn't have to do anything.

I forgot what I had to say :(

*sigh* ... --girl look at that body

Well--Oh yes! I was going to talk about my club. Like, no one is in it, but the people that are at least, matter to meeeeee~ they're all my fronds <3 :D So we've been doing some fun writing activities. I just hope it's not like, too boring, because I try and think hard about activities to do for the club, so I'd be kind of sad if I was just letting down my peeps.

Nerp.

Ya know, I loooove Lady Gaga's song, Paparazzi--it doesn't seem like one of her usual songs, I guess? Also among songs of hers I like that don't seem like "her" is Eh, Eh, Nothing Else I Can Say. Sounds nice and sweet.

Well, that's all for this update~

See ya later, through your window!
The Onion Cat

PS. Confession: I've been doing poorerly in Math recently. Bye!

Restlessness

Looking back is painful enough

to see the accomplishments of a younger me,

an innocent comeuppance I cannot triumph.

Restless I am, in a journey through time.

Hoping for a sanctuary of a safe nest

of fragrant stalks of standards I may rise above.

I look down upon my infancy,

and choke, feeling jealousy, 

at my capacity of responsibility.

Restlessly move on further,

lingering on my segment of budding education,

despising the intelligence and potential I held.

A stride forward yet, and I fall into a pit of black,

of delicious darkness that demanded attention;

I leave it yearning.

Now we are here, in present day,

lacking in talent,

lacking in display.

Losing flexibility,

shirking responsibility,

descending adaptability,

self directed duplicity.

Doggedly onwards,

pushing forth.

Oriented backwards,

fated to fall into the hearth.

- The Onion Cat

PS. I'm finding I really like the rhyming thing in the last stanza xD

Wine Red

A song holds significance,
strange above all others.
Tugging at the heartstrings
of associated time long past.

Unique and special
to my memories within.
The song is alone
in isolation.

A solitary lump of song
in a dark and solemn pool
of past depression
and music suppression.

Never heard before,
or ever since;
introduction by one
where our relationship was a cinch.

Social awkwardness
bridge paths across appearances;
phenotypes irrelevant,
when the psyche trumps the reality.

Song traverses time--
connects me to the past.
Linking me back then when
I wanted pain to last.

- The Onion Cat

Breaking Dawn Part Eye

Kay, so, I just took the trash out, and I happened to see that my mom had Breaking Dawn open and was watching. She'd gotten Breaking Dawn part I from the library, but I didn't want any part in the Twilight Saga anymore because I would get so obsessed mentally with it (and I'll tell you why a bit later).

The movie I actually enjoyed--well, what I saw, and the thing is, I don't intend to watch anymore than I have to. Maybe I'll watch Part two for closure. On the other hand, I'm doing find so far, so why push my luck?

The problem with the Twilight Saga is that...Well, no matter how annoying I find Bella to be, and no matter how bland and lifeless they deliver the lines, or how cheesy the lines are, etc, the fact simply remains that I am immensely jealous of the world they live in. Like, I want so badly to be Bella, so I can turn into a vampire--to make my own decisions and see how or where the story might've changed.

I know this sounds bad, but I want to have the power to kill. I want to be powerful...an outliar...I want to astonish them with the self-control I possess; show them that what Bella did wasn't that special. I probably could have done what she did if I was in her place...and I wouldn't have raved on and on about her baby being male, and exactly like Edward....*shudder*

The problem is that the story seems extremely realistic minus the addition of the vampires, werewolves, etc. Like, the addition is pretty subtle...like an add-on or something. It's enough to make me hunger...when I read the series, my mind would like, yearning to see what powers I'd gain, what I'd do, etc. I'd project myself into the story, and afterwards lie in a daze, wishing I could be a character in there...I wanted to see what would happen--what I'd change...just...what would happen >_<

A weird thing is that I kind of want to lose control...like, I want to lust after blood and thirst for it everyday. It's weird, because when I read it, I wanted to enjoy a taste or a spree--indulging myself freely, with secure knowledge I wouldn't have to stress another day. I want to enjoy the horror that others would feel. If I were a vampire, I'd want to bask in the glow of power.

But I mean, at that point, I sound like a monster. I think I'd have enough control, and ethics instilled in me to not act on those feelings, but I'd love to be tempted.

I'd like to have a  reason like that for angst.

Sorry it's been a while,
The Onion Cat