Restlessness

Looking back is painful enough

to see the accomplishments of a younger me,

an innocent comeuppance I cannot triumph.

Restless I am, in a journey through time.

Hoping for a sanctuary of a safe nest

of fragrant stalks of standards I may rise above.

I look down upon my infancy,

and choke, feeling jealousy, 

at my capacity of responsibility.

Restlessly move on further,

lingering on my segment of budding education,

despising the intelligence and potential I held.

A stride forward yet, and I fall into a pit of black,

of delicious darkness that demanded attention;

I leave it yearning.

Now we are here, in present day,

lacking in talent,

lacking in display.

Losing flexibility,

shirking responsibility,

descending adaptability,

self directed duplicity.

Doggedly onwards,

pushing forth.

Oriented backwards,

fated to fall into the hearth.

- The Onion Cat

PS. I'm finding I really like the rhyming thing in the last stanza xD