Starfruit, fruit, and Jeopardy

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get scurvy anytime soon; I've been eating/drinking/consuming so many acidic fruits, my teeth are sensitive!

Yesterday, I had juiced two limes and made some potent and slightly bitter limade (I squeezed the limes too much). In addition, I had kumquats, both the skin AND the sour inside, and then I had a nice starfruit later :) There must have been soooooooooooooo so much acid in what I ate, and so much vitamin C, I should be covered xD

I loooooove starfruit <3 I also love mangoes (and Brother Tucker's Grit-Breaded Bass (whole)), artichokes, and strawberries. I also happen to love celery, cilantro, and cauliflower! Broccoli is pretty good too, 'long as it's cooked and all. Today for dinner, I ate a whole ton of hash browns xD

Speaking of dinner, right afterwards, Jeopardy was playing! Is it just me, or can Jeopardy be really easy sometimes? Or like, really easy to guess? Wheel of Fortune I'm quite good at, and Jeopardy I can be good at as well. Maybe not $100,00 good, but like, good enough I probably won't be in the negative? I mean, if there's a "myth" category, I'm confident that I can knock it out of the sky; Greek mythology is even easier, and Roman mythology isn't too different--I just have to mind the names.

**I'd like to note the reason why the general category "myth", I might also excel is because usually the myths chosen are Greek, Roman/Latin, Norse, Egyptian, or maybe Hindu; Greek and Roman, again, I've got, Norse, I know their gods and their representations [as well as a bit of Beowulf and yeah], Egyptian, I know a handful of the gods--not much, but probably enough, and Hindu would be the weakest, although the answer is probably "Shiva" (just like how in my World History class, the answer is always Islam!)


But, I digress. I was thinking about what to write in my book, and I just realized I ought to work on the competition works xD I haven't worked on my contest submissions in a while. Maybe I'll be able to see them in a new light and make improvements etc.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pythons while Mary had a genetically modified unicorn,
The Onion Cat

Youtube again, stress-y, tired-y, and y-e-a-h

It's like, 11:15 PM, and I'm still trudging along with my AP World History notes. We're reading about the 3 Muslim Empires, and I need a break from being distracted, and so I'm trying to focus my energy on this, so that once I have my energy focused, I can try apply that focus to my homework. I kinda doubt it'll work though.

I've been distracted with youtube again. I try not to, but it's like, I read a sentence, and do like, a reading stutter where I read the same sentence over and over again, and the funny thing is that I'm not actually reading--it's more like scanning with my eyes, but not processing. It's the environment. To be honest, I think I might be needing a chair and table or something. I'd work in my room, but my mom doesn't like that, and who knows? Maybe I'd just nap.

I think the reason for my stress about the internships is because I don't have enough time in my day to invest the proper about of hours into research/looking into the opportunities. Seriously, my shyness is really starting to hurt me. I'm hoping it'll get better, but I think this is residual scaredness of my teacher from freshman year. I mean, blahblahblah I'm so mixed up on my stress. Time for a stress mint! Ya know, I'm not sure they actually work; maybe it's more of a placebo, but hey--if it works, who am I to argue? I always feel that rip of anxiety--maybe I'll incorporate that image into my picture, instead of a hole--it's a rip? Hm.

I'm tired. Last night I stayed up doing homework I thought was due today, but was actually due tomorrow. At least I don't have to do it now, and I have more time to do other things other than homework my homework.

Well, it's 11:20 PM now. I guess I ought to get back to work. It sucks, sitting here on the floor and doing homework, because I have to slouch my head down for long periods of time maybe, leaning back is like, I can't because I lean against the couch and it was a weird bump thing that hurts my spine, and my thighs burn from inactivity. Wow. This must be really unhealthy @_@

Honestly, I think it's kind of funny when I read in those suicide/depression slips, they say if your friend or whoever is saying about suicide, etc, the whole shebang, because I've been suicidally in my head, and I'm still here...As of now :P I mean, it's kinda weird, my mind? It's like, I have two "me"s (I bet you've heard of this before), and I argue with myself. There's "me" playing the victim, and the other one, that treats me good or bad, depending on what I need. Sometimes, she's really harsh with me, and yells at me a lot, and I cry, but sometimes, when I cry and she's feeling charitable, she tries to cheer me up and calm me down. I suppose she's like a double-edged sword? Difficult to live with sometimes, that's for sure. The thing is, she's quieted down. A lot. Like she's nonexistent, and honestly, I miss her a lot too. I mean, despite the association between her and my really off behavior and emotions, like depression, I really really miss her. It's like I'm an emotional masochist, if that makes sense. I mean, in the moment, all I wish is for it to end, but when it's over, I wish it hadn't or something. It's like my opportunity to know that I can feel, and that I'm capable of feeling.

But yeah, I really miss her.

...I am so crazy xD I mean, thinking about it now, my head seems so lonely (well THAT doesn't sound schizophrenic at all) without her in my head to argue with me.

Bleck, 11:35 PM! ...I'm so weird.

I named her Lumera and she called me "mi amor",
The Onion Cat

Youtube Comments and Stress. Again.

I'm crazy about youtube comments, but I've been taking some screencaps of some particular comments I wanted to share.

Exhibit A:
I found these comments on Chris Crocker's song, Freak of Nature, and the first time I was there, I saw this comment below, by NicoleLynnDevil. Then, someone copy pasted part of that message and posted it as a comment. After a few months, the copy pasted comment was top comment, while NicoleLynnDevil's comment wasn't.

 What I think is very wrong is that this person is getting credit for a self-admitted copy paste, and it's just so injust! I hate it because they copy pasted someone else's comment, and reposted it, and they didn't add they copy pasted whatever it was.

Exhibit B:
On Legendary - Episode 28: Present Time by EthosLab, I found some top comments that I thought were funny.

Exhibit C:
I think these two comments are very valid comments. These are the top comments for Minecraft MLG Protip #3: Jumping by CilantroGamer. (as of now, those comments both have over 9000 100 thumbs up! :O)

Exhibit D:
'nuff said. I found these gems on Portal - Credits Song 'Still Alive'. I thought it was funny :P

Well, it's Friday, but because I forgot to mark Monday off, my whole week was shifted a day. Now I have SATs tomorrow, and nothing seems to be easing my stress right now. I feel like I have a ton of homework due on Monday, and heap the SAT's on top of that, and you've got a Stress Sundae. It's not quite delicious. Oh! I guess I'll work on my pictu- well, in all logical followings, I really should be working on homework (Oh yay, I just remembered about internships too...). Seriously, I think I will start on homework. Well, try to. Oh gosh.

*stressanxiousstressanxiousstressstressstressstress*

Oh I love this song. Maybe next time I ought to talk about my musical preferences?

For now I'll talk about my numerical preferences ;D

I realize this may sound really nerdy or something (You newfangled kids with your newfangled dictio- oh wait, I'm a newfangled kiddo too! :O), but numbers I prefer will change with a situation, and there are many parameters to this.

My favorite number is 24, and immediately behind it are it's factors. Now, I normally prefer 4, and then 6, but 12 and 3 are also close seconds. 8 is a nice number too, but as a pair with 3, (I think of the factors as in pairs) it becomes less favorable. I suppose it's because 38 or 83 I find as not quite attractive, though I seem to like 83 more than 38. I also like 2; it's okay, but sometimes I find it ugly. For example, two dots arranged horizontally. I'd rather have 3 dots in a line, or just 1. 4 is "meh", I'd still rather have an odd number. Other times, I prefer even numbers, like if you have to divide something, so if you have 6 marbles as opposed to 5. I'd like 6 because then you can divide it in half and have two groups of 3, and you can arrange the marbles into a honeycomb-y pattern, but on the other hand, 5 is more of a flower shape. With 5, you can arrange the marbles into a cube of 4 and try to balance the last marble on the others. With 5, you can arrange them into a "V" pattern, but I'd like 3 for that, because then it makes a triangle. I wouldn't like 2 or 4 marbles though.

Numbers can also "look" pretty or ugly for me. Like, 89 looks nice and friendly, while 63 is a bit more neutral. 2011 isn't that attractive, and neither is 2013. 47 isn't too fantastic, but it's okay. I don't like 93 as much as, say, 92, while 37 is more like, ya gotta be careful. I'd still like it though, since it's a number composed of two factors of 21. I like the number 21, and hence also the numbers 3 and 7.

I guess these number preferences are analogous with color preferences or something...?

Someone should study what makes numbers attractive,
The Onion Cat

Good Teachers are Good, and Psychiatry

Today I was walking from my math class to where I aid for a teacher, and I started thinking and it was quite an interesting experience about good and bad teachers. As I was leaving math, these classmates were talking about this one teacher and how they hated him/her etc., you've all heard about that teacher no one likes, right? That sorta got me thinking about how people tend to bash people more easily than they compliment.

Or something. It's hard to explain, without making it sound strange or not logical or something, but basically, people seem more ready to bash someone than talk about the good people.

Also, what is psychiatry? I thought that was like, the person who goes "And how does that make you feel?" kind of thing, and psychology is more like the research aspect.

It annoys me when I say I'm interested in psychology and people ask me "Oh, so you're interested in working with people?" (or that sort of question), and I'm like, noooooo I hate working with people T^T I'm more interested in how or why, and honestly, I'd rather work with animals than people.

People research has a whole bunch of moral stuff around it, whereas for animals seem to not quite have the same barrier. I'm not saying that's a good thing. I'm just saying people are all okay about "oh cool, little mice that grow up alone are thisthisthis" whereas people are NOT okay about separating children from their parents forever. Well. You know what I mean :P

Sometimes I think it's funny when people say homosexuality is not "natural". If they mean homosexuality doesn't happen in nature, it does. I'm not talking about zoos, where there are cases of homosexual animals, I'm talking about the wild. Apparently dolphins act homo sometimes, and some apes, etc. I read there was a swan pair people called "Romeo and Juliet", but it turned out they were gay (the picture was labeled "Juliet and Juliet" with a short subtitle following). I wonder how sexuality of an organism is defined. I suppose maybe when I finally take AP Psychology next year, I should learn all about it.

In a somewhat related conversation thread, have you noticed how psychology doesn't have the same prestige as other sciences? For example, psychology doesn't seem as "big" as neuroscience or neurology....ya know, study of the brain, whatever it's called. I mean, they're kind of sister subjects, right? Psychology is the software component and neuroscience is the hardware component, right? At least in my mind. So because of this, I'll probably major in neuroscience and minor in psychology or something.

"What a choppy blog I have today!"
"All the better to express my thoughts!"
And The Onion Cat snapped up Little Red Riding Hoo- oh wait.

Anxious again

Well okay, let's be honest. This time, it was totally my fault I'm anxious now, because it's 10:30 PM, the walls are closing in, and I hadn't been working all day. Actually, I'm still not working. I'm typing this, and this isn't work. So today, on the ride from school, I played on my DS Lite all day, playing Pokemon, and then when I got home, I had a drink and continued playing DS on the couch with the TV on, and basically, I played Pokemon all day, or watched Youtube videos. After dinner, I finished watching some Youtube, and when shopping with my mom, because I needed some feminine products *coughcough*. When we got home finally, it was like, 9:15 PM ish, and after that, I played Pokemon and scraped up some Youtube videos to watch.

Geez, I need to focus. now it's around 10:30 PM or so, and I finished up AP stat homework, which was just reading, and now I have to do AP History homework. The problem is that I don't have any questions about the passage, and that really sucks because it's literally half of my homework--have three questions about the passage, and why they're important >_< I'm a very non-question-y person!

Plus, all the stress and anxiety about the homework I haven't done yet is really getting to me, and making me think about the future and how terrifying it is, and the internships and how I need to grow up but I really don't feel ready, and how I just want to cry.

Double blog all the way!

Well, I just had dinner and it's not like I've just noticed it, but I'm a bit peeved at him so I'll just talk about him right now.

My dad.

Yeah. My dad is a complete and utter @$$hole, jerk, etc. I'd say loser, but that seems to be too 'light' of a term. My father is really frustrating to deal with. I kind of hate him, but he's my dad, so I have to like him if not a little. I find him quite intolerable to live with. He steals our things. If you're not careful, he'll take your stuff. It's not like we're just leaving them on the floor to trip over, and he just takes them and moves them. I mean, he takes your things and makes them his.

A few weeks ago, my dad almost stole my new flashlight. Let me paint the beautiful picture of Christmas Day.

It was Christmas day, and my father, as usual, took pictures of us opening gifts as he usually does, every year. On Christmas, my mother got some perfume, a watch with interchangable faces/straps, and some other things. My brother got a laptop, a flashlight, and some other things. I got a laptop, flashlight, a watch with- well, I got a lot of things. I don't remember what my dad got. So among the things my brother and I got was a flashlight, from our mom.

This flashlight was amazing. It was $25 according to the sticker, but knowing my mom, she probably got it for less. Anyways, I really thought it was amazing because it has three light settings (not including off). There's the normal flashlight setting, and then there's the "off" setting. There's also a setting where you click it and LEDs in the handle lights up so you can see lots more, and there's the last setting where it makes red LEDs blink, making it good for car emergencies. There's also a magnet on the butt of the handle.

All those cool features coupled with the fact it was from my mom made this flashlight very special to me. Probably not as much to my brother since he already has an uber cool flashlight, but back to the story. So, I carried it around that day, but because of the magnet on the end of the handle, I decided to leave it in my room so the magnet wouldn't mess up electronics. Then, a few days later, the flashlight was needed, so I took it down and did whatever needed doing, and since I didn't want to keep running up and down the stairs, I put it on my java textbook from school, where it was sitting on my corner of the table. I like to think it was clear it was my corner; after all, my backpack was resting on the table leg on that corner, and all my stuff covered that half of the table.
**I would like to note that only my brother and I use that table. Not my mom. Not my dad. My brother and me exclusively.
So after I left it sitting on the textbook, things happened, a few hours passed, and my dad left on some errand or something. Well, I passed by the table and noticed the flashlight was gone. I wasn't too freaked out, because I tend to lose things, so I asked my mom if she knew where it had gone. Turns out, my mom said my father had needed to use a flashlight or something and had taken it. I searched for my flashlight, wondering where my dad had taken it, or what he had needed to use it for, and found it in a side pouch of his backpack. He was going to take it.

Take it to his place, and keep it. My father was going to take my new flashlight.

I would like to note here, I say "his place" because my father has moved out of the house because he is a semi-cheating f**k. He sends scary huge amounts of money to a scammer in the Philippines, and based on the emails he's sent, I'm sure it's safe to assume he wants to marry her (the scammer) or something (as in get a bang for his buck, if you know what I mean).

You may be thinking "Oh that's not true, why would he want to marry a stranger?"

Ask him, not me. He's the one that wants a divorce from my mom.

You may be thinking (this is about the flashlight) that it may have been a mistake, and he didn't know it was mine.

Well, my response is this. 1) He took pictures on Christmas Day, including me with the new flashlight, and if his bloody mind was actually there, he might have noticed the new flashlight was a GIFT that belonged to me! Even if he didn't remember it belonged to me, the only other person it could have belonged to was my brother! ...2) The flashlight was on my stuff! It was in my "space". It was on my region of the table that he doesn't even use!

You may be thinking "Well, this is a one-time thing. You're over-reacting, silly female teenager with raging hormones who is blowing this up with TNT!!! out of proportions." Well, I'm sorry to say, this is not a one time thing.

Today, my brother found out my father had taken the USB he'd been looking for. I don't know all the details, but it basically mirrors that of my flashlight story.

I'm going to go make ice cream,
The Onion Cat

Cell phone, Chinese New Year, and I don't feel good

I watched EthosLab's Race for the Wool Finals and it was awesome~ But let's get on with the blog.

I finally remember the subject I couldn't remember like, two or three blogs ago! It was my cell phone! I lost it. Which is really odd, because the last memory I have of it was going "Oh yeah, I should bring my cell phone out, since I'm getting older and we're all going out," so I had to run and snatch my phone out of my pouch where it was in my bag for school during exams. And I couldn't find it since. Pretty sure I put it in my pocket, but if it wasn't in the pocket, it should have been in the car, which it wasn't. Soooo I'm at a lost, and I feel really guilty about it, because I've sort of given up hope of ever finding it :|

Also, Happy Chinese New Year! It's the Year of the Dragon! Yay!

Yeah, I don't feel good. I started not feeling good while I was playing Minecraft, and I had to quit because I felt so guilty. I feel this way every time we're returning to school after a break and I haven't done any work because it's a BREAK or something. I mean, honestly, now that I have to have an internship over the summer, it's made me feel like I'm never going to ever have a nice moment of relaxation, and that life from here on out is all going to be work and just isn't worth living. So because of that view, I try and just play over the breaks and weekends and enjoy myself, but once I get to the last day, then I keep thinking I should have done work, and then I feel extremely stressed, and that pretty much cancels out all the de-stressing that I've been trying to do. This time around, it was mostly due to the internship and all, and how I should have looked over the sites, and I can just feel the deadlines for turning in applications looming ever closer, and I feel sick to my stomach, and I want to cry because the internships are driving me nuts making me crazy making me feel sick just stressing me out soooo so much all of the above but I can't do anything about it, because I know that getting an internship will give me a really huge edge over like, everyone else in college applications, but quite frankly I don't really want an internship because of all the work. Now of course, that makes me sound like I'm an extremely lazy person, and maybe I am, but the reason why I don't want to do it because of all the work is because of how stressed and anxious I feel about it all. It gives me all this pressure, and it doesn't help that I harp on what it may be like talking to an adult that's knowledgeable in the field, because I'm already a mess talking to an adult, but this is someone I don't know! Not to mention the "initial contact", because that makes me feel sick and want to cry as well, and of course, all my concerns will just be written off as the outcome of a female teenager with raging hormones who already has a natural tendency of excessive worrying.

I don't have a persecution complex.

...I really don't O_o;

So anyways, now that I've vented a bit, I'll just talk about the dream I had last night. Last night/this morning, in my dream, I was supposed to be in a play. I think it was Shakespearean, and I was playing the part of a girl named Rosalind. This play was NOT As You Like It, or an actual play in real life. It was a made up play that my brain decided Shakespeare would be the author of, and it just so happened I liked the name Rosalind. I might have been Rosalina, actually. Or Rosalinda. Anyhoo, that's not quite important. The point is, the dream was kinda long, and there was a house or something....There was a building where there was a stage, and that was where we were going to put on the play. The dream spanned several days, from the day of the casting to show night, but my dream didn't reach the part where I went onstage.

So, from what I remember, we were casted, I got my part, and I was a bit excited, but long story short, opening night came and for some reason, my lines weren't memorized, but I could use notecards, and I hadn't been fitted with the costume, and it was kinda weird, because it was as if I wasn't quite 100% ready, but everyone else was.

...Wow, that is a perfect metaphor for my life O_o Everyone is so far ahead of me and ready to go, and I'm lagging behind. Ouch </3

Whelk, I guess I should play some Pokemon?

Still don't know "who" vs "whom",
The Onion Cat

PS. Speaking of who vs whom, I have SAT's coming up this coming Saturday. Wish me luck!

Longest entry ever

Encountered first wild Tynamo

I'll talk about my cell phone and that other subject I can't remember later. Was it my dad?

I'm such a troll,
The Onion Cat

Is trolling hereditary?

Full from Playing

Woah. Dare I say it? Am I actually...cold updating every day? That's amazing! It's a miracle!

*sets down TNT* I'm playing too much Minecraft. Let's not blow this out of proportion.

Alright, so it's Saturday... *uber sad face* that means the weekend's just started, which means school is just around the bend. So today I just played a lot of Minecraft. I made two snow golems, but that might have been yesterday...I totally don't remember. But these sheep are so annoying to deal with! I'm trying to think of a good way to fence them in. Maybe I should use whole glass blocks? They're so annoying to deal with x_x If they escape from their cage, which is probably a complicated glitch/lag/in-a-block-then-I-wander-away kind of thing, then it's such a bother trying to put them back in their proper place. Maybe I'll have a water column just so it's easier to put them back into their cages. I'd definitely be happier.

Yesterday I remembered a topic, but I didn't feel like going back to edit the post or do a double post, so yeah...I've since then forgotten.

I also played Pokemon Dream World, and trained my Deino a bit. My mom tried to talk to me and show me something on TV while I was doing that flying game. I couldn't help being a bit snappy, but I hope I'm forgiven.

I've been listening to my playlist on youtube for music. I love music, but according to someone I know, the music is "too mainstream", that jerk. I guess I'm just a really horrible friend for saying things like that, but I feel like he ends up insulting people sometimes and the things he says, he doesn't really consider the effect it would have on me/my friends. *shruggo* I used to like him for his sense of humor, and how funny I thought he was, but the key words in this are "used to" and "was", because I don't like him anymore, or as much. He's still my friend, but he's more on the border or fringes of my BFF circle. I mean, he criticises my drawing, writing, he doesn't quite approve of my music, and the same goes for my girl BFF; he has similar opinions about her work too (I think. But I could be wrong </toString>).

Ironically enough, he hangs out a lot with this guy I happen to find really annoying, and I dunno, the thing that really gets me about the guy he hangs out with is like....everything a lot of things.... For example, he's so thin etc he looks like a skeleton (their words, not mine), but I think the reason that bothers me so much is because this person I know says he has perfect proportions or something. Well, not to me.
**As a sidenote, I just realized, I really really hope none of these people I'm talking about without favor ever read this, because they'd be sooo insulted. I guess. I might have already voiced my opinion in slightly better tones to them irl, but still. I'm being pretty jerkish right now.
I also don't find him attractive (just average).

I can't wait for Monday, because that's Chinese New Year! :D Then I can give my mom a surprise I got her~ I can't wait for her birthday, which is like, in November. Actually, correction, it's not "like" in November, it IS in November :P

What does 'jargon' mean again? I didn't know, then I remembered/semi-understood, but then I forgot again.

My hands are cold and I talked about random stuff and I'm about to eat dinner,
The Onion Cat

PS. Have a good day and eat your meals! :D

What really eats away at me is...

Well, I don't remember. I had an idea, but I lost it, so I'll have to talk about the second subject that I DO remember. I remember the second but not the first because I thought up the introduction to it, so here it goes.

Speaking of eating, today, my family and I went to a restaurant to eat, and I got a big plate of food, and it really got on my nerves when they started teasing me that I could eat and finish it, and it really annoyed me because I knew I probably could. The funny thing is that I can't say anything about it because then they'll get all offended and defensive, and then I'll feel like they're pinning it all on me, as if it's my fault for feeling the way I do, and thinking since they're family, that they'd try to understand, but they never do, so it's not like I'm going to hold a grudge or anything </sarcasm>.

But it got me thinking, because the problem with me is that when I eat, I have a tendency to not eat. What I mean by this is if I'm hungry, I'll eat, but once the hunger is sated, I'll just slow my eating or stop, so I never actually eat until I'm full very often. So today, that sort of happened, and I had eaten almost all of my plate. I really had just a small pile left, that I could have easily finished, but since I was playing on my DS Lite, and I wasn't hungry anymore, I was just picking at my food. Looking back, I should have just asked to save it for later, because I love eating leftovers, or I should have just plain finished it, but you know how teenagers are. So my mother and brother think I have a small stomach and they'll keep on teasing me. I hate being teased by my family, even if they're just joking. I remember a while ago, when I was still in elementary school--1st to 3rd grade--a something I wanted on my wish list was "respect". Needless to say, no one understood it or paid heed to it, but that's all in the past; no grudge here.

...I actually don't hold grudges. I think. Never mind, I'm not sure.

Actually, that kind of reminds me. I do this weird thing where I wish people would recognize the work I do and stuff, but when they actually do, I start acting all humble etc. You know those people. I guess I'm one of them? I try not to be, but I guess the thing is, when they actually say it, it doesn't sound so impressive to me, so it isn't. Actually, thinking back, what they praise me on is different from the stuff I wish they'd notice. It's getting late, so ABRUPT ENDING TIMEEEE!!! :O

Actually, I say actually a lot ;O
The Onion Cat

CVS, Minecraft, and Bees

Hey everybody! It's Thursday today, but I'm going to try and pretend it's Friday so the weekend is so much sweeter!

Anyhoo, today was my last day for exams! Yay! I hope I did alright on all my exams. I would love it if I got straight A's this quarter. I used to get them all the time, and now that I don't, I feel very inferior > ~ <. So after I took my exam, and the exam period ended, I went to the bathroom and was planning to just sit outside and play Pokemon until my mom could come pick my brother and me up. Well, I walked outside, and it was too cold to bear, so I just walked back inside, and went to look for one of my friends, Sriramya, because I had let her use my calculator. Well, I glanced into the cafeteria, which was the study hall/concentration camp, so I decided to walk to town. I was hungry, so I figured I'd head on over to Subway, but I was also really craving some Peach Rings, so I decided to head over to CVS too. Well, I also wanted to have a look see around and maybe do some shopping because I don't usually go shopping alone/without my family, so I thought I could do a bit of preemptive gift shopping.

So I guess it takes me about ten to fifteen minutes to walk to CVS, and I was actually a bit nervous because I was walking alone. I normally go with my friends, but my friends didn't have exams today, so that option was out, but I didn't want to go into the concentration camp either, because once you go in, I don't think you can get out very easily. (Elaborating on that, yesterday, as the study hall/camp was just getting started, the security guards starting ushering people in, and at that point, everyone that was in there started trying to get out, blocking the door. My friends and I turned tail and ran out the back down. It was hilarious xD) So I was off to CVS alone. I got there, and immediately went to find those Peach Rings. Since this wasn't my first time, I got them quickly, but since I had a lot of time to burn, I started poking around.

**Note, this is the same CVS as the earlier post, but this time I had no trouble. Probably because I was alone? maybe?

I found some cute stuffed animals saying "I love you!" or those lines and whatnot, and I wanted to maybe buy one for my mom. I found a tiger holding a heart that said "Wild About U!", and that was what I wanted to get, since my mom was born in the Year of the Tiger. I also saw a bear holding a heart, and that was cute too. I also considered chocolate, but my mom's been avoiding chocolate, so I didn't want to do that to her. So I walked down aisle by aisle. I saw some Physician Formula stuff, and totally wanted to get it, because it was new and I wanted to try it, but I have enough makeup stuff :( I also saw Burt's Bees Almond Milk thingy >_>; It's a hand cream that I've been wanting to try, and I thought I might give to my mom because it helps dry skin and Burt's Bees is supposed to be a good brand, but I opened the two jars that were there, and both seemed pretty icky (as in someone dipped their finger in to try it or something) so I didn't buy it.

In the end, I bought a bag of Peach Rings and a My Little Pony activity book for myself. Hey--before you say anything, it had two posters and 30 stickers! Of the My Little Pony TV series! Jackpot! Oh, and the activities pages aren't too bad I guess >_> But yeah, I thought my haul today was pretty good.

It was about 1 PM when I finally left, so I headed back to school. When I got back, I just sat outside where I originally was planning on playing Pokemon. To be honest, I don't remember what I did there. I think I just sat and speculated. I tend to do that a lot when I'm alone. I don't think I talked out loud to myself, so I guess there's some relief.

-----

I played Minecraft

-----

I was reading a Buttersafe comic and it reminded me of Bee Movie. I don't like Bee Movie, because it's completely wrong. Well, it's not completely wrong, I'm sure, but there are some aspects that really get on my nerves. For example, the portrayal of the pollinators? It's completely wrong, and it totally irks me. I'm not talking about how they carry tanks. I'm fine with that. I don't like that the pollinators are portrayed as extremely masculine, with all the female bees fawning over them, because in real life, pollinators are not male. They are female. ALL the worker bees are female. Now, you may ask yourself, "If all the worker bees are females? Which bees are male?" Male bees are called drone bees. Drones cannot fly. They never leave the hive. They cannot fly. They are smaller. They cannot fly. They have shorter lives. Did I mention they can't fly? Literally, their only role in the hive is to mate with the Queen so the Queen can continue laying eggs. It's still important. But you'd have to agree, it's kind of pathetic.

I also want to point out that the same is true in ant societies. Worker ants are all sterile females; as is with bees. In ant society, the only purpose of the male (as far as I know, but I'm not ant expert) is for mating with the Queen.


So, that's my rant on Bee Movie and why I don't like it. And also my day.

Long post! :O
The Onion Cat

Procrastination

So yeah, I meant to write an entry on Friday, but now it's Monday. Pretty bad procrastination, eh? I was playing Minecraft the whole time. Kind of. Anyways, I have a problem of procrastination and that always gives me loads of stress, because I stress easily on a lot of stuff, so the combination of procrastination and easily stressing just sucks. But besides being uncapable of writing anything cohesive, the reason why I wanted to write an entry on Friday was because of something that happened at CVS.

So my friends and I were at CVS because we finished exams, and so we were walking around town waiting for the buses to come and take us home. So, we walked to CVS, walked in (it was uber cold, and this stranger guy, as we were heading towards the door, turned to us and said "You guys look f**kin' cold" or something--it was really awkward because we didn't know him at all, and he just cussed at us. Anyways), and started browsing the makeup aisles because it was closest to the door, and well, I'm a girl, and my friend is a girl, and my third friend was a guy stuck hanging out with two girls, so he had no choice =P. After poking about and squealing about Physician Formula's new products, we followed the aisle to the back, and giggled at a makeup display--someone put lotion or something on the cardboard so it looked like she was crying or something. Then, all of a sudden, a woman approached us and told us to leave our backpacks in the front of the store. I'm not going to lie; we all felt a bit offended.

This isn't to say we don't understand why she would ask this of us. After all, we're teenagers, in a small group, who was in the corner of the store, near merchandise that, I guess, is pricy? (Makeup can be expensive, I'll say) I completely understand the why of the whole situation. It just made us feel sort of discriminated against though, because you don't tell 63-year-old women, or a single mother of 37 years with her 5 year old boy to leave their purses/bags (and backpack if the boy has one) at the front of the store.

** I would like to note/point our here that a shoulder bag or purse would, if you think about it, be more ideal for stealing than a backpack. If you use a backpack, there's the whole taking off the backpack, unzipping, placing item in, etc, whereas a purse or shoulder bag you just lift the flap and put the object in. 

My saying that might make it seem very suspicious like I do steal, but I don't. For the purpose of full disclosure, my friends both had backpacks, and I had a messenger bag. 

***Reading back, I look sooooo guilty >_<

Anyways, after they told us that, we left. Then my girl friend and I waited for the guy we were with to finish buying chips or something, 'cause we were starving and we don't steal because stealing is wrong.

I don't think we would have been so offended if they told us once we walked into the store, but to come up to us in the middle of browsing and shopping doesn't sit well with me. I have valuables in my bag. How am I supposed to just leave my bag in the front of the store, where there was no designated safe area to put my bag, and expect my bag to lay there untouched? If I left my bag there, what's to stop another person from rifling through my stuff, or claiming my bag as theirs? I have valuables in my bag!  I had my Nintendo DS Lite, my wallet, my TI 84 Calculator (which costs $60 or so?), my cell phone, my pencil pouch, and my notes for AP Language & Composition as well as my AP BC Calculus notes. I don't want my possessions in anyone's hands other than mines (unless I give them permission :) )

I think one of the ways to hurt me to most is to not trust or believe me. That's just the way I am *shruggo*. I'm a pretty naive person, I guess, and I hold honesty and generosity above all as very important traits to have. I try and be the best "good" person I can strive to be, and every little thing can bug me, and actually, this whole striving thing is probably the reason behind my extreme stress (or so my mom says =P). So, yep. That was my Friday. I'm not saying what CVS did was wrong, or even bad. I just wish it could have happened differently. I really wanted to buy Peachy-O's or Peach Rings, or whatever they're called :(

I need to study for my AP BC Calc Semester Exam! D;
The Onion Cat

Don't steal! Stealing is morally wrong, and off the top of my head, I can't think of a single situation where stealing would be justified, and National Treasure doesn't count >_>; 

Also, ...I forgot. 

Random Anxiety from books

I feel very anxious right now, and for a second I couldn't figure out for the life of me why. Well, once I started typing, I realized it was because I was reading Fearless by Francine Pascal, and I skipped ahead to book 27 (because it was book 3 and 27 in one...wha-), and it sucked. I'm not saying the story sucked and I didn't like the story, it was that I was really sad to hear Gaia's life sucked so bad now. Like, even worse. I dunno, I was just really hoping Gaia and Ed would be together, but I guess not.

Wow, I ended up reading the entire wiki on the series, and while it's interesting, I don't think I'd be able to deal with having it end, and the outcome. That's just the way I am with some books and stuff. I think I'll ask my mom to not bother getting me books from the series anymore. I'm kind of sad to give up the series, but I know I'm just avoiding future dissonance. I wish my friends would realize the impact books and stories will have on me. After I read Candor, by Pam Bachorz, the ending left me depressed, anxious, and stressed for days as I harped over it all, and how I wish it ended differently. Actually, Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer did that to me too. I ended up wishing there was a different ending, etc. You know, the whole "Oh I could have written this better" complex you might get after reading a book you feel passionate about.

I smell pretzels. Also, my pants are vibrating. I got a text message about call collecting or something. Also, I need to charge my phone.

This is why I'm actually afraid of good books. Now, don't get me wrong. I like good books. That's why I call them good. The problem is when they're so good, I start obsessing over them, wishing I was a character in the book, wishing it ended differently, yelling at characters in the book for not making decisions I would... It's especially horrible when I lose sense or lose my grip on reality, and it takes awhile for me to grasp where I am in the universe--my niche, my place in life, and just simple things like that. The good books have such addicting stories, they're just not quite healthy for me. It's like an addiction, and all these crazy things. Good books are horrible. But they're so good! They're addicting D;

All in all, avoid good books :P

Watching EthosLab instead of doing homework/studying,
The Onion Cat

Publishing Original Ideas

I was watching EthosLab's video, Etho Plays Minecraft - Episode 137: Slime Filter (well actually, I still am. I'm multitasking >:O Remember! Multitasking is highly inefficient! But if I'm blogging and watching Etho, it's all right.) and he started off the video making his glowing trees. Whenever I see it, I feel sick to my stomach because I feel as if it was my idea, but since I never made a video and posted it about it (because I have no computer screen capturing thingy), then if I made glowing trees, people might think I was copying Etho, but I'm not! It was my idea! I like putting the glowstone one lower than he does, so I guess there's a difference, but that wouldn't count in the eyes of the internet skeptics. *sadface* I think it really sucks, because I thought I would be able to have that idea unique to myself, and that it was special and exception and no-one else would have something like it, but nope, Etho also came up with it, and if I try and say otherwise, people will just have that "yeah right" reaction *another sadface*

I mean, I don't come up with many creative ideas, but when I do, I'm fierce about them. Among the glowing trees I did, I also thought of putting crafting tables in the ceiling (actually, I was going to do that in my Puzzle Map :'( ) and of that whole placing leather/iron/diamond on the crafting table for the quick way of making armor. see diagram below

" " = empty, "#" = # of leather etc in that slot
1 0 1
4 2 4
4 1 4
...(or you can use 3 instead of 4, but then you'll have to put down the whole pants design instead of just the top 3. The issue with putting 4 down is that you might make two sets of boots)

Anyhoo, I'm done for today. I've some programming to do. My ExpressionEvaluation program isn't working D; I'll probably talk more about Minecraft some other day.

Just ate dinner and happily watching Etho,
The Onion Cat

Internshipping.......and taboo

I'm not sure why, but whenever I think about internships, then I feel so anxious because I'm thinking about how... I'm not sure, but I guess this is definitely outside of my comfort zone. I mean, I can't drive, so I can't drive myself there (transportation could be a problem), I don't know if I'll even get picked... I still feel doubtful about the cover letter. Who should I address it to? I feel so nervous and stressed...But anyways, since it's been awhile since I actually started the entry, I've been watching Taboo, a TV show. It's actually pretty interesting, and somehow I don't feel like what they say is Taboo is taboo to me. Like, I get it's pretty taboo for most people, but just not for me?

Still needing to finish homework,
The Onion Cat

PS. sorry for a short entry that basically says nothing. It's only Tuesday! D:<

Minecraft Puzzle Map?

I've never played an Adventure or Puzzle map before (except for Skyblock Survival, but who hasn't? :P). I've seen many youtubers play maps, so I've been thinking of making a puzzle map of my own. It's actually pretty hard work, and I need more time. I feel like I'm not even a quarter of the way done, but I've been working on it for a while now. I'm trucking along. Hopefully I can get more done over the weekend. I'm trying to do this all with just Single Player Commands, but it's really hard work. I'm a bit nervous that I'll need to use MCedit or WorldEdit or something to change all the grass in the map to bedrock. The reason is just so even if you try and TNT your way out....You can't >:D But I don't know how to do that, so maybe not.

Sorry for the short post, whoever may read this,
The Onion Cat

Obsessive worrying

This is late to realize, but I've realized I'm a really obsessive worrier. It's not really a shock, per se, as even when I was a child, I was really serious. Like, really serious. I was talking with a friend that knew me in elementary school (and middle and now high school too) and she totally thought I was a scary person, and that I was mean and stuff. I don't think I was a scary person; I was just really shy, and quiet. Once I really get to know people though, I (like to) think that I open up. Anyways. The point is that ultimately, I'm a very serious and somber person, though when I'm not, I tend to be on the crazier side.

So I've realized that when I worry, I stress over every single detail. Every detail is exaggerated, and I'm left with an exaggerated image of my task, which looms over me like a looming thing a thick and suffocating cloud ready to descend and choke me if it hasn't already. It's horrible, because I'm sure my system is probably being pumped and flooded with stress hormones or something, which probably isn't very healthy...On the other hand, if the tasks start shrinking, I no longer feel the need to hurry, and I'll be up later than 3 AM or something. On an average night, I'd go to bed around 12 AM, maybe 1 AM?

Going to go watch Zero Punctuation now,
Onion Cat

The Educational future

So I was just chatting with my mom just now about colleges and swapping stories about how or what we used to help memorizing or remembering things. I use drawn out "it's-only-a-little-bit-of-a-stretch" mnemonic devices (actually, didn't mnemonic come from that Greek muse who was the representation of memory? I don't remember the name... ironically enough, but I do know it had excessive m's and n's.) while my mom uses brute force memorization because she can't think of these devices :(

The reason why this topic came up was because I was talking about how my teacher in Biochemistry couldn't really remember what the chemical representation was for ester and ether. Well, by "couldn't really remember", I mean she mixes them up sometimes.

Skip ahead past the colored font to avoid a chemistry lecture or something.

So the chemical what's-it-called for the family of ethers is R - O - R', while an ester's representation is R - O - C - R' with that C being double bonded with another O. 
Now, when I saw "R - O - R'", I thought "roar". There is an 'h' in ether, and so, I immediately thought "Hear me/my roar!" I was really excited with my 'find', but since it sounds kind of retarded to explain, I didn't say anything when I probably should have :S maybe I'll mention it tomorrow. 

Another chemistry thing is to remember the difference and be able to distinguish a pyrimidine from a purine. Purines are the 'big dogs' while the pyrimidines are the 'smaller dogs' (or at least how I visualize them. And I don't mean pictures of DNA bases are dancing in my head, I mean in abstract terms, that's how I visual- ...you know, this is already dragging on and on. I'll shush about this :B). Now, pyrimidines (thymine and cytosine, which you can remember as pyrimidines since they have 'y' in them) have a single ring while purines have double rings. I just ask myself "Can the outline of the shape make a valid  base for a pyramid?" Since pyrimidines have hexagonal shapes (since they're single-ringed) then they do! So they're pyrimidines :D If not, they're purines. 

But with my whole entire looming future ahead of me, I feel very nervous, anxious, and am just generally filled with trepidation. Because of the school I go to, I need to go get an internship and develop a whole research project. The problem is that I'm an extremely shy person (at least in real life. On the internet, with a computer/internet connection/monitor barrier to other people, it's much easier to be all social I guess, or something) and if I try and talk loudly or get people's attention, I promise you, I will fail. After all, it is my goal in life :P 

I feel like this entry is entirely too long or something, so, I'm sorry, whoever be reading this! 

I forgot the cool sign-off I was going to use. >:|

Good night everyone~ 

Youtube commenting

So, I'm supposed to be doing my math homework on InteractMath.com (7.1, due tomorrow!) but obviously I was on youtube scrolling through all my subscriptions and watching videos. I noticed a few things.

Which is nice. Thinking is nice....I should try it more often :|

Anyways! So first off, I'm subscribed to OnisionSpeaks (I unsubbed from the main channel and the other channels awhile ago) and so I watch his vids when posted, and naturally I form opinions and blah blah blah. I've noticed Onision and I tend not to see things the same way, but that's okay, because we're different people, but the thing that bothers me is how intolerant he seems. I mean, I feel like he keeps calling those with different opinions than his as "trolls/haters" and that's not right. I mean, I have different opinions than his, and I don't think I'm a hater or troll...

*shrug*

Anyhoo.

Another thing I noticed was that whenever someone replies to a comment I've made (Or just thumbs my comment up or something), I get really happy or excited, which probably just shows how lonely and insecure I am, but let's just forget about that ... I really like replying to other people, and not doing so, or not being able to think of a good enough comment to kind of bothers me.

*coughinsecurecough*

Well, I'm off to do my homework! Thanks for reading, whoever you are, and I hope you have a wonderful day~ :3

Hello world!

Hello anyone who ventures here--I don't know how you got here, but welcome!

I started this blog at the most inopportune time since I really ought to be programming and not ... wasting time here, setting up a blog and whatnot. I was told a while ago to get a blog, so here it is :)

That's all for now. Maybe more updates in the future. We'll see how well my memory works.