Kay, so, I just took the trash out, and I happened to see that my mom had Breaking Dawn open and was watching. She'd gotten Breaking Dawn part I from the library, but I didn't want any part in the Twilight Saga anymore because I would get so obsessed mentally with it (and I'll tell you why a bit later).
The movie I actually enjoyed--well, what I saw, and the thing is, I don't intend to watch anymore than I have to. Maybe I'll watch Part two for closure. On the other hand, I'm doing find so far, so why push my luck?
The problem with the Twilight Saga is that...Well, no matter how annoying I find Bella to be, and no matter how bland and lifeless they deliver the lines, or how cheesy the lines are, etc, the fact simply remains that I am immensely jealous of the world they live in. Like, I want so badly to be Bella, so I can turn into a vampire--to make my own decisions and see how or where the story might've changed.
I know this sounds bad, but I want to have the power to kill. I want to be powerful...an outliar...I want to astonish them with the self-control I possess; show them that what Bella did wasn't that special. I probably could have done what she did if I was in her place...and I wouldn't have raved on and on about her baby being male, and exactly like Edward....*shudder*
The problem is that the story seems extremely realistic minus the addition of the vampires, werewolves, etc. Like, the addition is pretty subtle...like an add-on or something. It's enough to make me hunger...when I read the series, my mind would like, yearning to see what powers I'd gain, what I'd do, etc. I'd project myself into the story, and afterwards lie in a daze, wishing I could be a character in there...I wanted to see what would happen--what I'd change...just...what would happen >_<
A weird thing is that I kind of want to lose control...like, I want to lust after blood and thirst for it everyday. It's weird, because when I read it, I wanted to enjoy a taste or a spree--indulging myself freely, with secure knowledge I wouldn't have to stress another day. I want to enjoy the horror that others would feel. If I were a vampire, I'd want to bask in the glow of power.
But I mean, at that point, I sound like a monster. I think I'd have enough control, and ethics instilled in me to not act on those feelings, but I'd love to be tempted.
I'd like to have a reason like that for angst.
Sorry it's been a while,
The Onion Cat
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