Cell phone, Chinese New Year, and I don't feel good

I watched EthosLab's Race for the Wool Finals and it was awesome~ But let's get on with the blog.

I finally remember the subject I couldn't remember like, two or three blogs ago! It was my cell phone! I lost it. Which is really odd, because the last memory I have of it was going "Oh yeah, I should bring my cell phone out, since I'm getting older and we're all going out," so I had to run and snatch my phone out of my pouch where it was in my bag for school during exams. And I couldn't find it since. Pretty sure I put it in my pocket, but if it wasn't in the pocket, it should have been in the car, which it wasn't. Soooo I'm at a lost, and I feel really guilty about it, because I've sort of given up hope of ever finding it :|

Also, Happy Chinese New Year! It's the Year of the Dragon! Yay!

Yeah, I don't feel good. I started not feeling good while I was playing Minecraft, and I had to quit because I felt so guilty. I feel this way every time we're returning to school after a break and I haven't done any work because it's a BREAK or something. I mean, honestly, now that I have to have an internship over the summer, it's made me feel like I'm never going to ever have a nice moment of relaxation, and that life from here on out is all going to be work and just isn't worth living. So because of that view, I try and just play over the breaks and weekends and enjoy myself, but once I get to the last day, then I keep thinking I should have done work, and then I feel extremely stressed, and that pretty much cancels out all the de-stressing that I've been trying to do. This time around, it was mostly due to the internship and all, and how I should have looked over the sites, and I can just feel the deadlines for turning in applications looming ever closer, and I feel sick to my stomach, and I want to cry because the internships are driving me nuts making me crazy making me feel sick just stressing me out soooo so much all of the above but I can't do anything about it, because I know that getting an internship will give me a really huge edge over like, everyone else in college applications, but quite frankly I don't really want an internship because of all the work. Now of course, that makes me sound like I'm an extremely lazy person, and maybe I am, but the reason why I don't want to do it because of all the work is because of how stressed and anxious I feel about it all. It gives me all this pressure, and it doesn't help that I harp on what it may be like talking to an adult that's knowledgeable in the field, because I'm already a mess talking to an adult, but this is someone I don't know! Not to mention the "initial contact", because that makes me feel sick and want to cry as well, and of course, all my concerns will just be written off as the outcome of a female teenager with raging hormones who already has a natural tendency of excessive worrying.

I don't have a persecution complex.

...I really don't O_o;

So anyways, now that I've vented a bit, I'll just talk about the dream I had last night. Last night/this morning, in my dream, I was supposed to be in a play. I think it was Shakespearean, and I was playing the part of a girl named Rosalind. This play was NOT As You Like It, or an actual play in real life. It was a made up play that my brain decided Shakespeare would be the author of, and it just so happened I liked the name Rosalind. I might have been Rosalina, actually. Or Rosalinda. Anyhoo, that's not quite important. The point is, the dream was kinda long, and there was a house or something....There was a building where there was a stage, and that was where we were going to put on the play. The dream spanned several days, from the day of the casting to show night, but my dream didn't reach the part where I went onstage.

So, from what I remember, we were casted, I got my part, and I was a bit excited, but long story short, opening night came and for some reason, my lines weren't memorized, but I could use notecards, and I hadn't been fitted with the costume, and it was kinda weird, because it was as if I wasn't quite 100% ready, but everyone else was.

...Wow, that is a perfect metaphor for my life O_o Everyone is so far ahead of me and ready to go, and I'm lagging behind. Ouch </3

Whelk, I guess I should play some Pokemon?

Still don't know "who" vs "whom",
The Onion Cat

PS. Speaking of who vs whom, I have SAT's coming up this coming Saturday. Wish me luck!